Be Yourself

If you're like me, you understand the feeling of trying to please everyone. When I was younger, I didn't understand that this was impossible.

Growing up with the pain of loneliness, I longed for people to like me and feared being disliked or becoming someone they didn't want me to be. I went to great lengths to please others, often neglecting my own desires. I would wear many different social masks depending on who was around to ensure I received their approval. Being around people became incredibly exhausting.

Later, I would come to understand that I had wasted a lot of energy trying to please people who would remain mere acquaintances, many of whom I would never see again.

Was all that effort worth it? You probably know the answer.

This is a powerful quote I try to live by:

"The opposite of belonging is fitting in." -Brené Brown

By obsessing over who I needed to be in order to blend in, I became constantly fatigued from holding up masks. I'm uncomfortable but keep telling myself that it'll be worth it in the end... because no one dislikes me.

But who do they actually see? A false persona. One that requires significant effort to present. But wait... what if someone dislikes the "perfect" facade I put on?

Instead of trying to fit in, it is better to belong. By being more authentic, those who genuinely connect with you do so because they appreciate the true you. For some people, this may not be challenging and something that comes more naturally. If that's the case for you, keep it up!

For others, that's not so easy and it will take continuous experimentation to shift your mindset from fitting in to truly belonging. What's good is that every time you're around people, that's your chance to practice and get better. To be honest, this is something I still need a lot of practice with and constantly reminding myself to be myself has become a meaningful, spiritual practice.

But what if you're upset and feel like shouting at others? What if you're irritated and want to tell people they're acting foolishly?

Being yourself means being authentic to who you are. But being cherry means doing that while also remaining sweet. Learn to be silent if you're angry. Walk away if a situation becomes too triggering. In order to respect yourself and respect others, we must develop the strength to be kind inside and out.

You can't control what others do but you can control what you do.

"Be kind and be yourself." -ch3rrylife

Let's challenge ourselves to be lovingly ourselves and by that example, challenging others to do the same. One of the most beautiful things in the world is the uniqueness of who we are that too often gets hidden out of fear of not fitting in.